Son of Yesterday
by TatiElina
Summary: Roy Harper is dead, and Oliver can't forgive himself. Dinah tries to help. Set after GA#45. COMPLETE.


A/N: Oh look at me with all these recent one-shots. I'm just trying to cope with what the writers have done to my guys. Gr. #Roy #Dick #WhyWritersWhy

Green Arrow #45 _"I lashed out at the poor kid, but I was so scared. So disappointed. Truth is, I wasn't disappointed in Roy...I was disappointed in **myself** " _

**Son of Yesterday**

They hadn't been at their worst, he could be grateful for that. Oliver Queen punched the man that had just robbed the nearby food mart, and _seethed._

His son was dead. And he wanted the world to burn. He'd been a terrible father. He'd blamed Roy for everything, he'd never, not once, stopped to think about his own mistakes. It was all the kid, wanting trust but never deserving it. It was the kid, and the drugs and the alcohol, and...

It was the kid, hanging out with less than stellar friends. It was the kid, who stomped around claiming he was a man and didn't need anyone, but deep down wanting Oliver to _do_ something. _Say_ something.

The funeral had _not_ been fun, and he had the clarity to wonder who'd come up with such a stupid word. He had meant what he said to Dinah when she told him about remembering the good times they'd had with Roy. He _really_ was stuck on remembering the bad.

The drugs. He'd handled that so badly.

The trust issues.

He was a fraud, and Roy had called him out on it on more than one occasion. He could still hear his son's voice, ' _You're no father-you just like to pretend you are from time to time'*_

Why weren't there any good memories? His mind was a continuous cycle of all the shit they'd pulled on each other, and he couldn't stop.

"Damn it!" The blond yelled as he punched the wannabe gangster in front of him, again, and again, and again.

* * *

"Oliver, I'm worried about you. Please don't shut me out. I just need to hear that you're... I just need to hear your voice okay? Call me back" Dinah Lance threw he cellphone across the room, and watched as it hit her vanity. She wouldn't have cared for anything on there, _except..._

"Oh no, oh no, oh no" She whispered to herself, running towards the mess she'd made, carefully inspecting all the pieces, looking for...

"..." She took a sigh of relief, realizing that the skeleton figurine she'd been looking for was perfectly fine. It had been a gift-a _birthday_ gift from a stubborn, wild 12 year old. She and Roy had gotten along from the beginning, often much better than the boy had gotten along with Oliver. She'd always been grateful for him. She wondered why Oliver couldn't remember, how there _had_ been good moments between him and Roy, between the three of them...

* * *

 _"Here"_

 _Dinah looked at the messy 12 year old, and wondered where he'd been, probably outside...rolling around in the dirt? What did 12 year old boys do with their time? He was covered in dirt, scratches, and had what looked like a bruise forming by his mouth. In his hands was the creepiest skeleton doll she'd ever seen. The figurine was a skeleton woman dressed in a fancy dress, holding a knife in hand. Ok..._

 _"Um..."_

 _"It's for you, for your birthday!" At that, the boy gave her a toothy smile, and she returned it gratefully, though it wasn't her birthday for another 4 months..._

 _"Thank you, Roy...very...thoughtful." She grinned, wondering where she'd put such an interesting gift. Maybe in the bottom drawer of her dresser where no one would ever see it._

 _"You're welcome. Ollie said that it was your birthday today, and that's why he couldn't take me to get pizza tonight, like he had promised-"_

 _Dirtbag! She'd have to remember to make Ollie pay for dragging her into his lies. He was so irresponsible!_

 _"So, I wanted to get you something, but you know, I don't really know what chicks like-" She was nodding, and trying hard not to cringe at being called a 'chick', these boys were certainly adding something new to her life. Headaches, mostly._

 _"but anyway, Jon James, at school, he's always selling stuff. So I went to talk to him, and **that** was the coolest thing he had. So I get it, right-" _

_She kept nodding, and smiling, and thinking of ways to kill Oliver Queen._

 _"but then!" The boy jumped up, officially adding sound effects and a show to his story, "Francisco Lisbon-who is an AS-"_

 _"Roy!"_

 _"Oh, sorry, who is...well, you know. He **pushes** me, and tries to take it!" The boy went on to describe a short fight between the boys, that had ended in both getting in trouble after a teacher had caught them. _

_"but, I fought for your honor, and your present survived!" The boy's bright green eyes sparkled, and suddenly she decided that the figurine belonged somewhere other than the bottom of her drawer._

 _"Well... thank you, Roy, but please no more fights, okay?"_

 _"That's what I told him. Hey pretty bird" Oliver greeted, walking down the stairs of his home. They'd had dinner plans, but she was suddenly tempted to dump him, and take Roy out for pizza instead. When Oliver Queen went in for a kiss, she gave him her cheek instead, whispering,_

 _"My birthday?"_

 _"Oh! Ha..."_

 _"What?" Roy asked now, as he watched Oliver become flustered, and Dinah become angry._

 _"Nothing for you to worry about, Roy, hey, why don't we **all** go out for dinner. Pizza?" Dinah suggested, and as the boy brightened, something inside of her heart stirred. _

* * *

When Oliver got home that night, she was waiting. Saying that he didn't look great would be putting it mildly. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, he hadn't processed.

"...Hey Dinah" Was the quiet greeting, he noticed the pizza on the counter, and walked over to it to take a piece, he hadn't eaten all day.

"You don't call, you don't write..." She offered, in a somewhat light tone. She wanted him to know that she was there for him. That they could talk. He _had_ to know that.

"..." Instead of an apology, he gave her a shrug. What could he say? He didn't want to talk to anyone right now, not even her. Not even his pretty bird.

"Right. Well..."

"Dinah, can we _not_ do this?"

"Oliver, look, I don't expect you to be okay! Nobody does...I just want you remember... it wasn't all bad."

His throat went dry, and he had to put his food down, he couldn't swallow. It hurt to breathe. His body ached, his face tensed, and he didn't want to do this.

"You can't say that, Dinah. You can't forgive me _for_ him. I let Roy down so many times, I ...I was such a bastard, I didn't give him the attention he deserved, and ..."

The blond woman, who had always been courageous and sure of herself didn't know quite what to do, but on instinct, she killed the space between them and latched on to him. He embraced her like she was the only thing keeping him alive.

"There's no more _time,_ Dinah. He's gone."

"I know" She echoed, thinking that they'd had this conversation at the funeral, but unlike then, now he could really open up.

"I can't apologize, I can't tell him I love him, I can't because on earth and in the universe...he's not here. I don't want to live in a world where my son does not exist!" He admitted now, breaking down for the first time since Superman had paid them that awful visit. Dinah just held the man, the man she loved, as he sobbed into her.

They held each other, for a long time, until there was nothing else.

"Try to remember Ollie... the last time you saw him. You _were_ in a good place. You hugged him. He felt your support."

Ollie nodded, trying to make Dinah feel at ease, but he knew the truth. The last time he had seen Roy, he'd promised to call him the next day. He'd gotten busy. He hadn't called. He'd failed.

He'd failed Roy in every way.

The End.

*Rise of Arsenal #2


End file.
